Monday, July 21, 2008

Frank R. Lopez

Last Tuesday my great-uncle Frank lost a long battle with cancer and died. He had the cancer for years, but in the last few months it became too much for him to handle. He was hospitalized, though he hated the loss of his freedom, and a week before his death he stopped eating. I knew a soon as I heard that that the end was near, he had fought the good fight but there's only so long anyone's body can last.

He's not in pain anymore. He's not regretting the loss of his freedom anymore. He's not waiting anymore.

He was 76, and saw a lot and did a lot while he was here, and had his independence up until the last few months of his life.

He was the last male in my family of my grandparent's generation that I grew up knowing. My father's father died over years, and it was hard on the him and on the family but we all had time to say good bye. My mother's father died suddenly, quickly as he did everything. He never was big on goodbyes. I've thought a lot about which way was easier, on the person dying and on the family, and I really can't say. No one gets a choice of course, and there's nothing you can do either way, but still I'd like to go out like my Grandpop Joe, catching squirrels and up on the roof one minute and then gone the next.
I'd like to leave people laughing through their tears.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Pater et Mater in Houston

My parents came to visit me! My mom flew down, and my dad took a train. Several trains actually, and a bus ride, but they both made it here safely. My mom arrived first, and we had a very nice lunch and took a nap (it's our family hobby) while we waited for Dad to come along. He was very hungry and tired by the time he made it here, so we had dinner at Frenchie's, which is the only place I've found in Houston that makes gnocchies. They are excellent comfort food after traveling for 3 straight days.

The next day Boyfriend and I took my father on a very nice tour of work so he could see what we do all day while Mom went out to lunch and on a tour of Webster's quilt shops with friends she knows from her quilting message boards. When her friend picked her up from my apartment, we invited her to come see all the examples of my mother's work I have in my apartment. I didn't realize how much I had! We showed her my gorgeous quilt, my pillowcases, my 2 wallhangings, my afgans, my table runner, and all the table cloths my mom has made me. I also have things made for me by my father and given to me by my sisters in my home, so I get to live surrounded by beautiful things given to me by people who love me, and every time I see them I am reminded of that. I'm very lucky.

A friend of mine invited me to take a Summer Pies and Tarts cooking class at Sur la Table with her the weekend my parents were here. At first I was going to decline, but then I asked my mom if she'd like to take it with me. Somewhat to my surprise, she accepted. My friend was sick and ended up missing the class, but my mom and I had a really good time! The class split into 4 groups and each made a different pie or tart with a very nice pastry chef telling us her tips and tricks. Once they were baked, we got to sample each one, and they were all delicious. I could tell my mom had fun because when she got home she found a Sur la Table not far from her and she and my sister immediately signed up for classes!

It was so nice to be able to spend time with my parents. They're very easy to entertain, they like to eat and nap and play with the Kitten and talk and that's exactly what I do! My father says he's going to try to come down twice a year now that he's gone part-time, which is awesome. That will almost double the amount of times per year I get to see him!

This is weird for me, but since I've been thinking more that I might have children one day, one of the things that worried me was how I can raise children that only see their grandparents and great-grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins once or twice a year? How can they grow up not knowing their family? But if my father, and probably my mother, come down so often, they will have a better chance of knowing their grandparents as they grow up. It's not the same as growing up 3 blocks from them, I know, but it's something. That won't be for a few more years yet, of course, but I wonder about stuff like that. I want my kids to know how awesome their grandparents are. Honestly, the older I get and the more people I meet, the more I realize how amazing they are, both as parents and as people.